THE SOMETHING HAPPENS ARCHIVE. FREE OF FRILLS AND THINGS.

BOOK ONE

• Every day in America... Something Happens.
• Mom, what are we having for dinner?
• Oh, wow, thanks! This is great!
• The White Blood Cells
• Renee! ... Alice! It's a miracle!
• Judy was considered the star employee
• Is this the only Michigan map you have?
• Oh. It is so much fun.
• Eventually, the driver has to come back
• The Zednoughts. Omnipotent. Immortal.
• What the...? ... Welcome, son.
• Oh, wow! An Etch-a-Sketch!
• Norbert? Are you really busy down there?
• Ultimate Fate ... With your host, Dionysus!
• Remember when you were a kid, playing school
• Steve! After fifteen years we finally meet again!
• Glen, the sitter's here!
• What the--? ... What's the matter?
• Mr. Doheny! Where is everybody? Where's my crew?
• Have you ever been led to believe that the path
• Are you becoming more and more worried
• I would've been glad to pay more taxes
• Crunch! .. ?! ... Oh, geez...
• So why do you want to be a waiter
• Superconductor Airlines
• A day in the life of a luna moth.
• Breakfast was delicious, honey
• As you know, there's an age-old expression
• Bad news. ... If it's about Ron Pinesent
• Hey, you. ... Who, me? ... Yeah, you.
• Hello, girls and boys! Come join me
• Extry! Extry! Read all abaht it!
• Can I help you? ... Yes, I have a problem
• Son, I hear you're not doing well
• Wow, I can't believe it. After only ten years
• Greetings from Punsylvania
• An office break room somewhere
• Knock knock. ... Oh! Good afternoon, ma'am.
• May 24, 1844 -- Samuel Morse demonstrates the telegraph.
• Angela, we've been walking on the beach for an hour.
• Hey, I've got a wild idea.
• I was like you, Boyd. Full of hopes and dreams
• Introducing Oversensitivity
• Well, of course the sky is falling, Mr. Little.
• This latest scandal is killing us.
• Tony the Steam Engine
• United States Department of Consumer Demographics
• Rutabagas ... Rutabagas with the face of Jesus
• Well, that's all our stuff.
• 1856. Bleeding Kansas.
• Gotta move. Can't fail. Gotta succeed.
• Nerdcore kicked ass...
• Ayrin... Goddess of light, peace, truth and joy.
• Who's that one from? ... My son
• Hi. ... Hi. ... Hi.
• The people watching me think I'm leaving a note
• Listen, I've taken care of Dad for the last ten years.
• The once-endangered Big Bad Wolf
• Dude, that's awesome! Oh, yeah, way awesome!
• You: The new reality show
• Gilkstein Family Reunion
• This is our enemy...the North American Eastern Gray Squirrel.
• Innovation
• Look, the suburbs are just as rife
• My humps my humps my humps (D.C. Simpson guest strip)
• It's been several months and the hurt hasn't gone away.
• We thought it'd be interesting
• In 1975, a lone outpost on the coast of Massachussetts...
• All right, commander. I've taken the form of an earth human...
• You wanted to see me, Ida?
• Honey, I just discovered I'm married to a different man
• Whew. Man, it's warm.
• This is a fine time to have a blowout.
• Ms. Smith, it's time.
• Does this stuff taste kinda weird to you?
• Mikey the Microchip and the wonders of computers.
• You realize I'm taking your word for it...
• This is my house!
• This is a truly historic moment, Commander.
• You can sense it in the air, Rog.
• Agh! ... Uh, hi.
• You know, when I first saw this pirate ship...
• 1884, Hartford, Connecticut.
• I am recursive death!
• What a failure I've become.
• Do you even grasp the concept of light speed?
• This is not a pipe.
• Whew! That was fun. What shall we do next?
• The negotiations between the U.S. and India
• Bobby! Where's your malformed biological atrocity...
• I was a fool, Ian.
• Ha ha we're going to heaven after all
• Ancient Greece ... Eureka!
• The missile is due to hit the city
• When she was young, her parents called her "Sweety-Pi."
• Please, Cap'n. Take me with you...
• Heaven's Police Department
• And, Mr. Tree Shrew, as punishment...
• Fermentation Process
• Megadelmartco
• Whaddya think? Hot stuff, huh?
• This is based on scientific evidence.
• Hey, you'd better not run so much.
• Hey, you know that song "I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues" ...
• This is a shared cultural experience!
• Honey, I need my space.
• Oh, man, you would not believe the B.S. I had to go through.
• C'mon, hon, it's Christmas.
• This is a lifeless planet...
• Hello America! It's time to decide our new Bill of Rights!
• Whoooo!
• My Oppressed Life
• You're telling me right here, right now...
• Mar 21-Apr 19... You're so much better than a Taurus it hurts.
• Rabbi Judah, Rabbi Jose and Rabbi Shimon... (Guest Strip by Richard Furman)
• Man, it's awesome being cool, ain't it? (Guest Strip by Derrick Fish)
• Minor Bogeymen (Guest strip by Tim Tylor)
• Arecibo - The Largest Radio Telescope in the World.
• Hey, Ralph! Did you hear our boss died?
• Is your spouse lying?
• 2028 - The Vanishing North American Wilderness.
• You lost my luggage?
• The negotiations between the humans of Earth and the Vech'Klargs of K'Thal...
• Okay, cherubim, God will see you now.
• Hey, kid! ... Um, me?
• a wizard's wonders
• From 1633 to 1853, Japan was governed by a seclusion policy
• Hello! I'm here to tell you about Zach Abbott.
• In the heart of the brownstone district...
• So wake up, people!
• Here comes one. Leave the talking to me.
• Now follow me, ladies and gentlemen.
• My Unoppressed Life
• Hurry up and light this thing.
• A scorpion wished to cross the river...
• And in conclusion, let me say...
• Eternity?" Honey, that's not our exit.
• Doctor, how could a simple janitor turn into such a horrible monster?
• After two decades of wandering, the tribe of lost souls...
• Believe in yourself, you've got the power...
• A square peg in a world populated entirely by round pegs...
• The Great Debate
• Sir Lancelot! The king is -- ... I know.
• Dorothy Kilgallen!
• When you're playin' a game, and it all seems the same...
• In July of 1947, the Air Force claimed...
• You're certain this is a foolproof solution...
• Today, Presidential candidate Seymour Tamzarian...
• Great leader, the Briefians have us surrounded...
• Are you coming to bed soon, dear?
• 45? 45? 45?
• Morning, ma'am. The landlord sent me.
• Ever kept yourself from enjoying your favorite foods...
• That is disgusting.
• I'm telling you, King Neptune's lost it.
• Well, that's that. ... That's what?
• BOOK TWO
• Every day in America... Something Happens.
• 1934 ... Mein Gott, my boots are shiny!
• Bobby, I just got your report card from your teacher.
• Oh, Sarah, say you'll be mine.
• World War II
• Um, hello, I'm from the temp agency.
• Hey, kids, look at all this snow!
• The real life inspirations for some of horrordom's most famous monsters!
• Knock knock... come in.

GO AHEAD TO BOOK TWO.